Monday, July 13, 2009

The aforementioned "Perspective" blog.

A few weeks have gone by. I’ve read my blog over and over and discussed it with my mom, and we both feel a bit uneasy about something. When I write a blog, I write naturally with my realistic emotion. These are my personal views, and unless I’m reporting a news event or action regarding my platform for example, what I write is opinion – an opinion that I believe in, yes, but I’ll be the first to admit subjectivity. In my blog after Miss NY, I was honest about my disappointment that I did not walk away with that job and title. But as I have shared personally with the girls in the Top 5, I was incredibly proud to be standing there at the end with those 4 and do not want to take anything away from them because they are outstanding women, each very unique individuals, any of whom truly could have been Miss New York. And this extends to the remaining 16 women as well. I had a personal disappointment for falling short of MY goal, not a disappointment that anyone else won. [If that can even make sense…?] No matter what my intention, I cannot control perception, which requires sensitive semantics and thought. In writing a blog in the public forum of the Internet, I open myself to potential traps, and I think I fell. But here’s to it being a stumble and something from which I have picked myself up and moved on with sincere apology to anyone I may have offended.

I absolutely look forward to continuing my relationships and growing in the new ones with girls whom I have met in this program – whether that means roadtrips to state pageants, watching So You Think You Can Dance, eating guacamole, going to the lake, cheering each other on in local pageants, or Facebook chatting into weeeee hours of the night. Miss NY brought us together, but there is much more to the friendships that develop in this Organization, and I am so thankful to have found my NY family. When I moved to NY, I knew a few people from my internships of previous summers, a few from BSU, and one from pageantland who connected me with many new friends, but it was in February when I truly felt like I had begun that community development everyone needs in a new home. When I plan a trip to Indianapolis, I find myself saying “I’m going home,” but then when I’m there and talk about leaving, I once again say “I’m going home.” And I mean to New York. I have two homes now, and that just encourages me to reflect on allll of the positive support and love I have from all over in my endeavors, both in and out of pageants. I’m a lucky girl.

Lastly, there is someone to whom I did not give enough credit, and she is Leigh-Taylor Smith. This girl is amazing. Miss New York represents a state in which she can truly be a change-maker, not a parade-waver. But, you have to have the guts to do it. We all know that NYC is a land of opportunity, but only to those who take advantage of it. It is so easy to hide or get lost in this city, and LT is someone who jumped at every opportunity and created so many for herself. She has set the standards incredibly high for the new Miss NY, not just based on her performance at Miss America, but because of the way in which she has empowered youth, supported this system and organization, and presented herself as a role model for people. People. Not just young girls as Miss America so often narrowly focuses. She has motivated and inspired me, my family, anyone who reads her blog, and most likely anyone with whom she has come in contact or conversation. New York State and the Miss NY and America Organizations are lucky to have had her this year because she has most definitely left a memorable mark. And the greatest thing is that although Miss NY is now in her past, the lifestyle of passion for volunteering and positive change will continue far beyond the time that the crown is passed. She is a true champion and this picture captures it perfectly. Thank you, LTS.


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